Thursday, September 23, 2010

don't do this...

1. Date a boy who owns a cat.
if he happens to live in a house that is co-habitated by a cat then that's okay.
I don't see the need to explain this one, cats are bitches. and no one wants to date a bitch.

2. Order pasta on a first date
or sushi (even though it's extremely tasty and highly addictive), especially if you can't use chopsticks.
pasta and sushi are not eaten in a sexual way and you will spend the majority of your date starring at the plate, awkwardly trying to consume your food, hoping you don't have sauce on your face and praying you don't choke on rice.
Tapas bars are the best choice, sharing and conversation friendly!

3. This should be a given, but don't date someone who smokes.
unless you smoke, in which case spread the lung cancer love (to each other, I don't want none of that shiz)

4. Movie theatre for a first date.
unless it's a marathon of your favourite director and he brought all your fav treats.
because that's just too cute to reject.
but movies=no talking and awkward avoidance of touching.

5. Buy pantyhose is a size you THINK you are
if at no other time, be honest with yourself on this one.
you're just going to feel fatter with that unforgiving waistband separating your midsection into "muffin" and "top"

6. Leave birth control to chance
no glove? no love
unless you're trying to have a baby, in that case do the opposite.