I broke up with him.
First off, I'm okay. It sucks, it hurts and some days are worse than others, but I know it's for the best and I made the right choice for me.
I don't even know what I want to say about it. He's a really fantastic person, and I wish he could see that in himself instead of assuming the worst possible outcome.
In my experience eventually if you believe hard enough that you're worthless and undeserving then everyone else will believe that of you too, then your worst scenario becomes reality.
Me believing in him never seemed to convince him though. But that's not what the issue was.
I really do miss him. And there are days when I just want to call him or have him next to me. But it wouldn't make the situation any easier because I don't want to get back together. And selfishly wanting him in my life while not giving him what he wants isn't fair to either of us.
For a long time I've been able to stay close with the majority of my past relationships (one committed and a few casual) but I don't know about this one.
It's his birthday tomorrow so I'll give him a text and see what happens.